pillow (case) talk

I remember being very young when I learned to use an iron. Later on in life, I made an extra income ironing my neighbors work clothes. I charged 25 cents per item...that was a long time ago. House chores in general are not my favorite thing to do. My mom likes to wash dishes by hand. She finds the warm soapy water relaxing. My daughter enjoys folding clothes hot from the dryer. Me? I forgot that certain chores can bring pleasure to the senses. I think being chronically ill turned everything into such a well planned out task, that I couldn't remember how to enjoy work.

While changing out the beds one day, I caught a whiff of the clean sheets, still warm from drying. I buried my face in them and took a deep long breath. Old memories flooded my mind. The hot steaming iron pressing out the wrinkles of pillow cases. Cotton has a smell all its own when being ironed. Many generations of women know that smell very well. It is ancient and fresh, simple and pure. How could I have forgotten?

That was a couple of months ago and I am now ironing out my pillow cases again. I actually look forward to it, like a treat, I turn the iron on to the highest temperature and press each case. I change my own pillow cases often and now when I snap them open they are covered in perfectly square pressed sections, somehow still holding onto that steam iron smell. When those creases begin to fade, it's time to put them in the dirty hamper.

I still don't like house chores...let mom wash all the dishes and sissy can do all the laundry she wants, but the pillow cases are mine.

pickin

A view from down below
Happy Angela
The fruits of our labor
Every year about this time we get to pick cherries from our good friend Pete's farm. At first, more end up in our mouths than in our bags. As you stand near the trunk, you look up into a canopy of jewels, every cluster ripe and sun kissed. It is easy to get carried away because each one looks more delicious than the next and there are three different varieties. We move along from one tree to the next, the heat and dust being all part of the experience. Later, back at home, they get washed and placed into a basket. This always looks like a beautiful piece of art sitting on my counter top. The tummy aches we get that day aren't always welcome, but are well worth the price of this tradition.

rain dance

the lightening cracked, the thunder roared and rain suddenly poured from the sun streaked sky. i bolted off the couch and ran into my backyard, i wanted to feel it on my skin and hair, my face turned skyward and my mouth automatically opened. i stood there with arms open wide blinking away soft eyelash drops. inside i felt thirsty, this surprise storm being just what i needed in that seized moment. i calmly walked around observing how sacred rain effects each thing in the yard, my thin cotton nightgown being the perfect attire for this dance. again lightening lit up the sky along with the immediate crack and boom of thunder. the storm was passing directly over me and the rain quickened with this demand. in the middle of my lawn i turned in circles, smiling upward in thanksgiving and laughed at the sight of me. in this childlike moment i realized how safe my existence has become and that i need spontaneous rain dances to occur in all the area's of my life.

windows

When God closes a door, He opens a window.

how about this many...?

staircase to somewhere

the sign says "no"
but it's ever so small
one could easily step over it
would you?

I wouldn't because all signs must be obeyed. That is how I was brought up and I would be afraid to ignore the signs message, but... I would wonder where it lead to? I can see myself with children, pointing out the staircase and making them read the sign out loud. Later, while tucking them in bed, I would weave a fine tale and paint their imaginations with adventure and priceless treasure. I would leave the story open ended so that they could add their own magic to it. Then, much later on, I would have to frame the picture and give it to them as a gift...a reminder of our time together.

the sign says "no"
but it's ever so small
one could easily step over it
would you?

happens every day

This past week I had the blessing of spending it with my daughter Angela. Some real quality momma/daughter time...this does not happen every day. I wish it was able to happen more than it does, but I'll take a few days here and there when we can.
We did do some site seeing in San Francisco and the flora that grows there is mind blowing. Especially the succulents, they thrive off of that crisp sea air...so does my daughter :)
This flower grew from one of them and it was huge. These pictures don't do them justice. Their sizes are amazing.

With summer peeking around the corner, I always begin thinking of the books I want to read. "Happens Every Day" by Isabel Gillies is a fabulous read. She is laugh out loud funny and had me crying in the same chapter. I enjoyed her contagious positive attitudes during the most heart breaking of moments and the very powerful humility that defines her. Notice how I didn't give you the plot? This ones worth picking up. What books do you recommend?

peace

This is not about the desk, or the tea and the computer on the desk. This is not about the room, or the lighting. This is about the peaceful background sounds of someone else cleaning your house. Yes, I have a wonderful cleaning lady, scrubbing bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting and doing all the things that I would rather not be doing. I am a happy girl.

So, I get to sit here in my peaceful studio, bathed in the low lights around me and catch up on some correspondence. Family is gathering for Easter and my daughter will be arriving with her boyfriend to spend the weekend with us. Good food will be made and love will be shared.




I have already heard my Easter blessing... while in class, during an experiment, Mark found out that he has some rather high levels of white blood cells. He visited the campus nurse and she immediately ordered all kinds of tests, but assured him that most of it will be just routine. He may have a slight infection somewhere that needs attention. We were chatting about all of this information and I said to him,

"You know honey, your Momma prays for you every day of your life, so I think your Guardian Angels are on the ball doing their job." He then said to me,

"I heard a saying that has stuck with me all week long, 'Coincidences are just God's way of answering your prayers undercover'"

Little does Mark know that I got off the phone and wept. He may be 27 years old, but to me he is still that big brown eyed vulnerable trusting soul that is always searching for his Heavenly Father to prove himself. So, I am still basking in that peaceful conversation and thanking God for good housekeepers. I am a happy momma too.

jokes on me

So, I woke up this morning to sunshine and clear skies.
Left for the dentist in a light skirt and top.
While sitting in the chair it began to pour.
Not just your average rainfall...it poured and poured!
My dental hygienist said, "Talk about April showers!"
and I smiled to myself.
The joke was on me
as I entered my car soaking wet.
Nature heard me complain
and decided to prove me wrong :)

Here are some of the flowers in my yard
that benefited from such a gripe.

Have you recently been caught in the rain?

april showers...

With March nearly gone and April right around the corner, we begin our spring planting. Veggies for the garden and planters that still have the remnants of last years experiments...evaluating what was happy and what wasn't. But, in my head I'm always reciting, "April showers bring May flowers."

Do you have April showers?...and where do you hail from? Here, in California, we are desperate for water and April is generally a pretty dry month. The wind is howling outside blowing plenty of pollen around, but no rain. There aren't any dark clouds in the sky, just a cotton ball here and there. Our temperature is nearly 80 and that is about normal for spring where I live.

I love the rain and found myself sitting outside under the protection of our awning this winter. It seems to silence everything around you, commanding attention. So, I will continue to recite April's verse, hoping for rain and in the meantime, use plenty of SPF while I do my planting.

the sickies

All last week I felt horrible with Tree Allergies that seem to have triggered my lupus. It laid me flat and I think I watched the movie "Twilight" at least 2 full times. I showed up at my women's bible study in my pajama's, no makeup, with my hair twisted into a messy knot at the top of my head...you know the one girls. When I am having a flare, I kind of get this slight death pallor to my skin and it can be a little disconcerting, but they handled it wonderfully. So, this is by no means my attempt at a self portrait, this is the fantastic work of Boho Photography...her style is unmistakable. Part of our fun little photo session while I was visiting.

I am crossing my fingers that I will be feeling better soon...or I may be forced to show up here looking like, "Afternoon of the Living Dead." NOooooooo...

double take

Being a succulent lover, I was shocked when I found this fake plant in a Pier 1 import store. Yes, I said fake. Who is it that spends their time getting paid to invent perfect looking fake foliage? Well, I just had to buy it and now it graces my house. I think pretend plants are going to make a come back in home decor, dispelling their gauche reputation. Kudos to this inventor...you had me fooled. How about you?

named

Looking into Cedar's eyes is almost a spiritual experience. He is so aware and sensitive to his surroundings, I knew he was trying to tell me something.




















We had connected and exchanged many smiles and stories.













Then one evening Boho Boy handed Cedar over to me and said, "Go to your Auntie dd" and my heart jumped. That was the name I would be given and now called for many years to come.

I am auntie dd

environment

I just got back from a five day visit with my lil sister denise, boho bro and baby cedar. I am filled to the brim with their yumminess. I am tired from all the playing, even though we were in her house 90% of the time...it is a good tired. I have pictures and stories, all that need to be sorted out, of this weary brain. The picture above is of den dancing with cedar, something we did a lot of. The 2nd picture is just one corner of their adorable homey nest. The environment was tender, loving, gentle...and I began missing it the moment I stepped onto the plane.

This creation was inspired by the newly sprouting green and the brown of tree bark. The first one I made as a gift for a birthday. The second you see here has been adorning my own neck. Be inspired by your own surroundings :)

I'm ready for my close-up...

a buzzzing filled the air











the curtain opens









a star appears











another grand performance












for years nothing has ever changed














just a thousand new cast members












slight rearrangements of the set











and all heaven stands to their feet
and once again are filled with wonder

I'm Bloomin Crazy!

After a slight reprieve from the rain and wind, my visiting daughter Angela and I went for a beautiful walk in the almond orchard. The sweet air filled our lungs and the wonder filled our eyes. This is now a precious childhood memory for her and appreciated home to me. Right now, nothing could be more splendid than this moment.

falling

Never in my life have I seen such big rain drops...
Never! So, I took a nap just like the old man.

the wish your heart makes

i dream of seeing the ocean from my bedroom window
i dream of throwing a rock that will get swallowed by the sea
i dream of screaming words that can be drowned out by the sound of waves
I dream of taking walks and seeing footprints left behind
i dream of rinsing my feet before entering the house
I dream of a landscape that can be heard
I dream of smelling salt and stinky sea life
I dream of hunting treasures with a sharp eye
i dream of being where I belong
by the sea

I am spiritually connected to the ocean. I know this because I just feel right when I am near it. I dream of it constantly. If I am stressed out, I have nightmares that include flooding waters, or the ground disintegrating beneath my feet. When I am happy, my dreams are filled with calm steady waters. When I can't sleep, listening to a prerecorded loop of crashing waves does the trick. But, my life is well established here, almost 3 hours away from the sea. My husband, whom I dearly love, dreams of trees... rows and rows of them. Trees with nuts. Nuts instead of sand, he loves the valley, I love the coast. We adore this close knit community, but oh...the expanse of the ocean! How can this be, to have this deep love affair with such a distant sea?

a constant state of mind

dreaming is a good daytime habit...





















and more so when wearing your favorite necklace

just help yourself...

and
Dive Right in...

a really happy valentine's day

I think I've done more in the last couple of months, than in the last 10 years. Little things here and there...slow walks, outings with friends, being a hostess and treasured bible studies with very dear ladies. I am planning a few trips and looking forward to the love that I know will make them special.

A Really Happy Valentine's Day to You...

clumsy?..."yes"

I am the wrong person to be living in a tri-level home.
I have one flight of stairs that are 10 steps high.
10 very narrow steep steps...in my opinion.
While carrying a basket of laundry, on one journey down,
my feet voluntarily slipped out from under me.
I tumbled flopped and crunched right down on my right ankle.
I heard this little "pop" that in turn matched a strange tug.
And my ankle turned into a giant purple grapefruit right before my eyes.

And "yes" I cried a little, pounded the floor with my fist,
said, "crap!" and then crawled to the nearest phone.
"Yes" I immediately applied ice and swiftly elevated it above my heart.
And, "yes" I went to the doctor's and had an x-ray
that told me it was not broken, but could not explain the "pop!"
I am supposed to stay off my feet, keeping my foot elevated,
while the sun is shinning outside.

For a full 2 weeks I had been power walking
and doing quite well, I might add.
My new medicine has been doing wonders and so was I,
...until this :(
I am angry at those stairs and myself for being clumsy
because now I am back on this couch feeling like
all my hard earned energy is going to waste
...boo

tethered to life and some good health

Yes, I have been tethered to life and learning how to cope with some new added energy and strength. I quickly scanned back to see if I have told you all about this new medication I have been on for the last two months named LYRICA, and I couldn't find any references to it, so regardless of all the negative side effects I have read here and there over the Internet, I am having some great successes with taking it.

I began the slow gradual introduction around last thanksgiving and I must say that it has worked wonders for me. It's been a challenge as to what to do with the gift of energy that I now enjoy in the afternoons. Enrolling into a woman's bible study was my first choice. I have greatly missed that fellowship. Exercising is now a routine with some serious walking accompanied by my puppies. Don't let their size fool you, they give me a run for my money, especially walking them both at the same time.

I am planning a couple of trips; San Francisco in February and San Diego in March, to visit with my baby sister Denise, Carsten and baby Cedar. I am thrilled with great anticipation for them both. Family noticing the newness of health I am experiencing will be wonderful. Maybe even a little of the old me is back, or should I say, the new and improved.

I encourage anyone who had suffered from Lupus, Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome to talk to their primary care physicians about prescription Lyrica. It is not an anti-depression medicine, which often seems to be the "go to" drug for these debilitating autoimmune disorders. What have we got to loose...or should I say gain :)

No, it is not a cure, but the difference it is making in my life is astounding. Pass this information on and feel free to send any loved ones my email address for any questions or concerns.


My very own live in Cheerleaders!...too cute!
Miss Ellie Mae and the one and only Baxter Binx

no reservations ~ no resolutions

I don't generally make resolutions
the time lines
being put into a box, such
reminders that you aren't in sync with the plan.

I rather make w i d e ~ s w e e p i n g
declarations something like,
"in 2008, I'm going to become gluten free."
and slowly over a years time, I am gluten free :)
I made it happen, it was very hard, but I did it.

The key...
"a very realistic expectation"
I gave myself an entire year to make one change.
This year, I'm making a new w i d e ~ s w e e p i n g declaration.
"in 2009, I'm going to swim as much as I can."
No, I don't have a pool, or current access to a warmly heated one
that is covered from the sun,
but that doesn't discourage me. I feel very strongly
that this is what I am supposed to do.
He will make it happen, I have no doubt.

***The key to my drastic food change was simple...it was not a diet, it was just me loving me through nutrition.
The same will be with the swimming...I will not be exorcising, I will be moving around, in warm caressing water and loving it.

So, I guess what I am saying is that I kept it simple. Broke it down into an ~action~ that will more deeply love on me.

and in turn...I simply happen to find more love in others through the process.

I hope you find some delight today :)

hello 2009

I know this was a cheep way to celebrate...but after Christmas, I'm broke :)